By the way; happy valentine! Its the season of love and love is in the air or supposed to be in the air. So, this post is not for the lovebirds snuggling together in bed, when they are supposed to be in church. This post is for the now confused girl who could not grab a valentines date and the not-so-cool guy that was ditched by an over-fresh girl this valentine. You are probably crying your eyes out, watching a classic love story or reading Les Miserables. You are likely to attend all church services (including house fellowship), you would cry on the alter and ask God why you can’t find love. You would sulk all day and vent your spleen on some poor innocent soul.
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Now girlfriend or boyfriend, who says you must have a valentine with a bae or boo? You can join the Twitter hash tag today; #I’mMyBoo or #I’mMyBae. Valentine has always been a special treat for me; I don’t believe in chewing gum love or one night stands after heavy valentine booze. I’m going through a phase of self awareness and I don’t even have the time to snatch up a Val Date. So, does that mean
I would be on self-pity medication throughout valentines day. Absolutely no! So here is my recipe:
Go down to a gift shop on the 13th and spoil yourself. Claim that Victoria Secret Set that you have lusted for like forever, don’t forget those shoes with killer hills, buy that sleek black purse or the book of your dreams. For the boys, the new Game Boy Set or a decent iPhone you would have wasted on an ungrateful check. Wrap this gift up and send it to the delivery service to be delivered to you on Valentines day. If you don’t have the muscle for courier services, place it on your bedside. When you wake up on the 14th and see your wrapped package, open it slowly and feel the from-me-to-me thrill caress your insides. Now get a good smartphone and take loads of selfie. Admire your self and pity those over-important entities that think highly of themselves.
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Give the camera the “Fake Baes and Boos don’t deserve me” smirk!
Leave your room and go and meet your family; they are the ones that matter. Give your Mom the best hug ever, give your Dad the hardest love punch and stuff Snickers Chocolate bars into your little siblings hands. Relish in the moment of family time and wonder why you left your family for some Bae and Boo. If you are a girl, make it an All Girls Night Out. If you are guy; the choices are dicey as well: go sweat off in the gym and groom those sexy abs, go get some drinks with friends at Delighted Bar and kill yourself in an exhilarating Football argument about Manchester United’s conservatism and how Chelsea is going down the drain.
Don’t forget to show some love to the people that deserve it. You must not go to Sudan or Syria and pose behind undernourished children. Surprise Baba Suwe; the blind beggar on your street. Real beggars and not the likes of Toyin that grows fatter each day, curses your family if you don’t give her money, grunts her thanks when she thinks you gave her a paltry sum of money, eats everything that cross her path and changes her braids every week. THAT IS HOW TO CELEBRATE VALENTINE!
Hey, don’t get me wrong, I am not an anti-Bae or anti-Boo guy. I have a loving Bae, her name is Ifunanya! If you don’t have any Ifunanya, you still deserve a happy valentine!
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FOR THE YOUNG AT HEART